Rant of the Day: Tell your Children to Shut Up.

The movie industry is hurting. Piracy is still running rampant, the old brick-and-mortar video store system is collapsing and being replaced with ultra low-cost streaming subscriptions, and a lot of current releases just flat-out suck. And to top it all off, people in the theatre can’t even keep their mouths shut.

If you are going to see a movie in the theatre, please for the love of God, SHUT UP.

Of the past three movies I’ve seen in theatre, every single one of them had either a) a couple on a date who decide a darkened cinema was a great place to have a conversation, b) teenagers that continually ask their friends what’s happening onscreen because they’ve been talking instead of watching, or c) a man who possibly escaped from a mental asylum and screamed at the screen three times. And people wonder why box office returns are dropping.

It seems like a pretty simple social script: if you want to see a movie in a theatre, you need to be quiet for two hours. If you can’t do this, then DON’T go to the theatre. It’s as simple as that.

This isn’t just a rant either; it’s a public service announcement. I don’t know the exact figures offhand, but studies show that talking during a movie is worse for society than doing drugs, playing violent video games, and drinking excessively, combined. It also has the effect of turning otherwise rational human beings into bloodthirsty irrational monsters. This is an epidemic, folks. And it needs to be squelched immediately.

Please don’t send these people to a movie theatre. It’s in everyone’s best interest.

 

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One Response to Rant of the Day: Tell your Children to Shut Up.

  1. Pingback: Does it really cost that much to see a movie in the theatre? « Modest Movie

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