A Dream (feat. Christopher Nolan)

I had a dream last night.

It involved the as-of-yet-untitled and probably not even in production yet Dark Knight sequel. Batman 3.1, if you will (Batman Forever being 3.0).

I was in a dark theatre and everyone was buzzing in their seats. It was either opening night or a sneak preview of Christopher Nolan’s latest film and nobody could stop talking about how excited they were to see it. And then the lights when down and the curtain went up.

The first shot was a close-up on a woman’s lips. I think the camera pulled back to reveal that it was Helena Bonham Carter, looking pretty much the same as her character in Fight Club. She might’ve been the new Catwoman or something, I’m not quite sure. Anyway, at this point, I knew something was amiss. The film was really grainy, and it looked as if the cinematographer was using a handheld camera. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone because everyone next to me was enjoying the movie and whispering amongst themselves. Were they not seeing what I was seeing?

And then the scene switched. And pretty much everyone was wearing green. I thought maybe this had something to do with the Riddler likely being the next villain. And then there was Robert De Niro in a green suit puffing a huge cigar. I don’t really know if he was the Riddler or just a mafia kingpin. I’ll never know.

The last scene was Christian Bale and Michael Caine sitting in two large armchairs that looked like they were taken directly from the Matrix set. They were babbling on about something and Bale started laughing, almost as if this was the set of Kelly and Regis and Caine was Kelly.

The last thought I had before I woke up was how disappointed I was with the new Batman film.

Was it all just a dream? I don’t know.

But the one thing I will say is this: if the third Nolan Batman film is disappointing…you heard it here first.


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